FORBIDDEN CITY, BEIJING
What's the longest layover you've ever had? Mine was eighteen hours in Beijing, China. I found this out a few days before my flight to Thailand. I had two options; find a bathroom stall to live in for eighteen hours or I sneak out of the airport and explore a new city. The idea of sneaking out of the airport in a foreign country to wander China’s capital city terrified me, but like hell I was going to miss out on a chance to explore a city that has been on my list for so long.
The day before my flight I posted on social media asking if I knew anyone in Beijing with a couch I could surf. With very little hope I received a message from my good pal Beau giving me his sister Alexa’s number and that she would be happy to not only offer up a couch for me but also meet me outside the airport and show me around. Per usual I didn't have much time to plan and would just figure it out once I got on the ground in China.
Once I landed I realized China was not cool with foreign social media and had blocked me from communicating through it. Luckily I found a pocket of WIFI and texted Alexa through IMessage and got a quick reply from her giving me instructions to meet her at a KFC just a short train ride from the airport. I also found out China offers a 24 hour visa for tourists to explore in situations such as this so I didn't have to risk going to a Chinese prison for life.
I had Point A and now knew point B but the thought of trying to figure out how to get to it was terrifying. I had never done anything like this in such a foreign place and a thousand things could go wrong but the fear of regret and missing out was greater. I decided it was happening so I smothered my anxiety with a pillow and I started walking forward. I walked through customs and to the agent who cleared me to enter their country, I walked out of the Airport to the Beijing Subway and figured out how to connect to the stop where I would step off the train and step foot on Chinese soil for the first time and find point B; the KFC Alexa would come to my rescue and I wouldn't be alone in a scary place anymore.
I walked into the KFC and ordered a bite to tide me over while I waited for Alexa. I was still a bit shell shocked that I had actually found my way to the KFC. When I sat down and had a good deep breath in and out the feeling of accomplishment set in that I had pulled it off, not only was it anything like what I feared, it was actually super easy. I was super proud of myself that not only did I not submit to fear I unlocked a new side of myself and was excited to use my new badge of courage for other explorations in the future. Also, I was in China!
I soon realized I didn't know what Alexa looked like. How the hell did I not think this through, I had no way to contact her either. I had to just sit there and hope that she would find me sitting in the corner of what I hoped to be the KFC she told me to go to. But, before I could finish my snack the female version of Beau walked up to my table and said my name. I laughed with relief and exclaimed ,” it’s me”! I had never met this person and the only thing I knew of her existence was the few times beau brought her up in childhood stories. I instantly felt that same warm and comforting energy I did with Beau and thankfully so because I didn't have the time or energy to be anxious or awkward around a new person and the idea of not being alone in a foreign country was such a relief.
Like a newly adopted orphan toddler I let Alexa lead the way and we walked around. She told me all about living in Beijing and how life was for an American living in China. I felt so out of place and the idea of living there long term made me a bit anxious but the idea of getting to find my place and learning how to adapt made me excited and intrigued me. We found a spot to eat and I annoyed her with all my wide eyed questions. As we sat I tried to find an American comparison to the restaurant and its atmosphere but it was pretty unique. We got the check and walked back to the place she was staying. She was house sitting at the time for a friend who lived in a Hutong. Hutongs are historical houses in the city that have been there for hundreds of years. They are usually located in tiny, narrow alleyways. From the outside you wouldn't think much of them but on the inside they are remodeled with modern details with highlights of the original architecture mixed in giving the perfect contrast of history and the present. The owner wasn’t there so I didn't take any photos, SAWWWY! Just google Hutong Interior, you wont be disappointed. We chatted for a bit long but both were getting up early so I thanked her for everything and we hit the hay.
I got up pretty early and caught a cab to the forbidden city, Alexa warned me to not let them price gouge me but I failed. I brushed it off and was stoked to see the heart of China’s Capital in the early morning light. I had some time before the Forbidden City opened its gates so I wandered through Tiananmen Square. I was alone and nowhere close to anything familiar but I felt so at ease and amazed at this far off land. The contrast from the old architecture to the new gave me the indication that these structures were there long before me yet they looked brand new from their preservation. There was such a mix of people as well. There were officers marching in large synchronized groups while young school kids lined up on their field trips innocently fumbling around restlessly. I didn't know much about the authority of China at the time but knew enough to know it was a powerful place and even though I felt at ease and tranquil I still walked on the side of caution and minded myself. I had a flight to catch later in the day so I needed to watch myself and not be too American in a foreign place that had completely different rules that I had zero education on.
It was almost time to enter the palace so I joined the crowd outside the front gate and pretended I was a local for a moment. The gate opened and we shuffled in like cattle. As I got further in I got my first glimpse of inside the gate. It was like a movie, I felt like Mulan coming to conquer the villain and honor her family or the little kid from The Last Emperor; I never finished that movie . I wandered in and began to take in the sights. I walked into the main yard and stood there for a moment and took it in. I imagined all the history this palace had seen. I thought about the bricks I stood on and all that stood before me in the six hundred year lifespan of the palace.
I noticed two guards standing post near me in the yard. They were just babies, I was afraid to take their picture cause I didn't know the rules but also wanted to break them in hopes they would bring them some amusement on their boring day. I pointed the camera at them and they immediately looked at me so I pretended to be taking pictures of the land scape. One of them smirked at me and I smirked back and kept on wandering. The exchange made me feel more welcome there and at ease.
I continued through the city, there were so many layers to it with so many side courtyards, alleyways, and compartments within the main walls. It dawned on me this was actually a city, a city within a city. I began imagining myself living back during the time people actually lived here and tried to relate to what life would have been like vs. life today. I then started wondering how I would fit there and how I fit there today, not just standing there in the Forbidden City, but in the world. At this time in my life I had no place to call my own, I was floating around between seasonal work and travel with no solid ground to call mine. Where did I belong, where did I want to belong. I kept wandering through the middle of the city and found myself at the end and walking through the back gate.
(add more to this, talk about what you were feeling at the time and how the city helped that)
I started back towards the main gate allowing myself enough time to get back to the airport for my flight. Once I reached the main gate I was told I couldnt exit that way and had to go back around. I did the fast math on time and realized it would take me another forty five minutes to get back to the subway. It was likely I would miss my flight, with this new reality I was living in I let out a loud distress call and of course I chose the word “FUCK”. With the flame of urgency lit under my ass and the uncertainty of how illegal it was to cuss in public, I got moving. I power walked all the way around the city and found the nearest subway station. I found a token English speaking resident to confirm I was on the right path and was relieved to get a “yes”. I stopped a few times along the way to ask if I was heading in the right direction and each time I found an English speaking resident they seemed excited to get to speak English to someone. It would make the story way more interesting if I had more road blocks and wrong turns but I have to say Beijing is very easy to navigate and get around.
Long story short, I made it to my gate with fifteen minutes to spare and a new sense of courage that would come to serve me so many more times in the future and still today in other aspects of life. “ If your nerve deny you, go above your nerve”, Emily Dickinson. When you find yourself living a little too far on the side of caution take a leap off the ledge, you’ll be amazed at how well you figure it out. When we go places we’ve never gone before and take steps out of comfort zone we not only see things we’ve never seen before but we get to see parts of ourselves we didn't know were there. That’s the true journey, discovering ourselves.
